The Happy Medium

I am fully aware that I've missed the post on the 26th of February. And there is a reason for this. Not a good one, but one nonetheless. There is no change in anything: my weight, my pattern of thinking and most of all, my relationship with food.

The stats remain the same.

Two things have occurred.

First, I was all geared up to join Unislim last week. Similar to Weight Watchers, they use units instead of points. At the last minute, I abandoned ship. I just couldn't do it. And I didn't want to. It would have been my third time joining not to mention the two times that I joined Weight Watchers here in Ireland. So, not only am I a veteran of all sorts of American diets but now Irish ones as well. Around the world's diets in 80 years.


But I did make an appointment to see a bariatric surgeon in Cork for April about the gastric bypass surgery. I must check it out. The insurance companies require that you see a dietician for six months prior to the surgery. Initially, I was upset because, being a Zimmer girl and liking everything done yesterday, I'd been hoping that the surgery might be able to be done right away. Like this week. However, the more I turn it over in my mind, this is a good thing, both the dietician and the waiting.


I travel between two ends of the spectrum. At one end is total lack of self control and disregard for what is being put into my mouth. At the other end is deprivation (or dieting). I don't like either ends. What I'm looking for is the happy medium. It is my Holy Grail. It sounds easy but I find it elusive.


I'm reminded of the movie, The Maltese Falcon. In it, Sidney Greenstreet plays Mr. Gutman, a man who has spent his whole life travelling the world in search of the fabulous bejeweled bird. When this particular bird turns out to be a phony, initially he is gutted but he soon recovers and is off again to some foreign port in search of that elusive bird.


I am him. And my quest continues.