Something Unexpected This Way Comes

Something very unexpected happened yesterday.

I lost my job.

For the past 18 months, I've worked for 2 agencies providing care in the home for the elderly and the disabled. To say that I love my job would be an understatement. In taking care of one patient a shift (instead of nine), I am able to provide the one on one care that drew me to nursing in the first place.

I've become very attached to the 2 clients that I look after. The bulk of my time (25 hours a week) is spent with a lovely, 95 year old lady.

Monday morning, I rang my boss and rang the client's daughter that I would need coverage for that day as both my boys were sick. In the past, when they've had colds or minor flu, I've left them in the care of their dad. However they were both sick, especially Daniel and needed their mom. At ages 5 and 7, they're still little boys. Daniel started Sunday morning with a high fever and vomiting. We took him to the on call doc and were told that it was viral (mesenteric adenitis), push fluids, no antibiotic needed. Michael started with the high fever later that evening.

Monday morning arrived and despite pushing Motrin and Tylenol and using cold compresses, I'm having trouble getting Daniel's fever down. I know my child. And he is sick. Really sick. Sleeping on and off during the day, he is listless and has no appetite. And I want to stay home with him. Michael, although wrestling with a fever at times, is a little better off than Daniel. He's quiet but he's coloring and playing. At times Daniel's fever is high- 104.2, 104.6 and I know that we're just a short jump to hallucinations and seizures.

After talking to my own GP, he gives me further instructions and tells me if he's no better to bring him in. The Motrin starts to work and 3 hours after, his temp starts it's climb down to the area of 99/100, a region I feel more comfortable with.

In the meantime, my boss calls me back and tells me that there is no coverage and I have to go to work. OK. I give my husband instructions and tell him at any time if Daniel appears worse, he is to take him to the doctor.

Against my better judgement, I go to work. Every hour, I ring home to check on Daniel. The fever is holding its own but Daniel remains fatigued, napping on and off. Halfway through my shift, the 95 year old client's daughter calls me. My relationship with this daughter is very good. She and her mother are lovely, kind people. They appreciate everything you do. They are a pleasure to know. The daughter tells me that she thinks it might be better if I find another client because she wants someone more reliable. I am stunned. Granted, I had to take 1 day off for court and 2 days off last week for an endoscopy, but other than that and my holidays to the States, I have never missed a day or called off before. She says that at the moment she understands that there is a lot of upheaval in my life but her priority is her mother. I said I understood and we hung up. I burst out crying. Despite the fact that we had a good relationship, it is just business at the end of the day.

When I arrive home, Daniel wakes up from a nap and tells me that he missed me that day. I can tell by looking at him that his fever is back and indeed it is. 104. But now he has a red rash all over his trunk and neck. I am sick because I know that a high fever and a rash could mean meningitis. I am literally shaking as I go to call the doctor. We are back at the doctor's at 6pm. Our doctor, a lovely lady, immediately diagnoses a severe case of tonsilitis and prescribes an antibiotic. This was missed on Sunday. Our doctor tells me that he is a very, very sick little boy.

By midnight, after one dose of antibiotic, the fever breaks and I'm grateful.

At 3 am, Michael comes into me, roasting. He has a fever of 103. The following morning, I take him to the doctor and he has a double ear infection. Antibiotic for him.

I text my boss and my client's daughter and let them know that I won't be in today. Michael is now sick and Daniel isn't fully out of the woods. I do not feel guilty at all. The three of us have a pajama day and we lay on the couch and watch brand new DVDs. By 5pm, they are fighting and I know they are on the mend.

As for my job, I know longer feel bad. Actually, I feel a little relieved. In the end, she did me a favor because now I don't have to agonize about quitting, which is what probably would have happened. Just as her mother is her priority, my children are my priority. First and foremost. I went against my instinct and went to work when I wanted to stay home and tend to them. That will not happen again.

Losing my job could not have happened at a worse time in my life. But I really want to be with my boys. There's a saying that whenever a door closes, a window opens up. Well, the doors are closing left and right lately. And nothing has opened up but I'm optimistic. I'll even settle for a crack in the wall.

In the meantime, if you need me, I'll be home with my boys.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

A Jewish proverb