Well, I managed through week 1 of Unislim without too much difficulty- a few minor problems that I was determined to overcome:
-no chocolate for 8 days now! This is the longest I've gone in a long time. I'm determined to beat my addiction to chocolate. This is my biggest problem area as I have worked my way up to eating 3! family size Galaxy bars a day. Zoinks! 2000 of my daily calories came from chocolate alone, not even funny.
-Thursday, for whatever reason, was a day of discontent for me. I can't explain why or pinpoint any one thing, it was just one of those days, but I was determined to stick with it and not use it as an excuse to slide. Besides, Thursday is weigh in day and I didn't want to mess that up. So, I decided to take a little break from my life: no computer, no writing and no housework ( no fear there) and I took an easy day and just read all day- just what I needed. Felt great this morning, up at 7am (remember, I'm not a morning person) and ready to handle what the day has to offer.
-I wasn't perfect a couple of times but I followed the advice in the Unislim book which said 'forgive yourself immediately.' Instead of beating myself up, I'm going to be kind to myself. In the past, as soon as I 'cheated', I'd give up if I couldn't be 100% perfect. I can't let perfection be the standard by which I judge myself. And there is no such thing as cheating! It's a poor choice, that's all. I'll make the next choice a good one. And what were my poor choices? I had an extra helping of hummus on oat crackers ( I love hummus)and a handful of Pringles one night.
There were two things I learned this week that were important to me:
-at the weekly Unislim meeting, Bernie, our leader, reminded us that 'we're not on a diet,' we're on a permanent healthy eating plan. That works for me.
-second, came this little gem from the book: 'those that are most successful with their weight loss in the long term are those who recover sooner rather than later.' (in response to having a bad day)
Anyways: here are my results for the first week:
Start weight: 23.4 stone*
Week 1: 22.6 stone ( 316 pounds, 142.8kg)
Yeah 12! pounds gone! I know it's mostly water but I can see my ankles again!
*1 stone = 14 pounds
Now for the hard part: sticking with it and being accountable and showing up every week. Of all the times, I've joined Weight Watchers or Unislim, I've never filled out my entire card as I always stopped going after the 2nd or 3rd week. I have a short term goal of attending 6 meetings( lasting 6 weeks). My long term goal is to fill up my card- which means a 16 week commitment.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Toolbox Tuesday
The tool today is one that is used in conjunction with all the other tools. In other words, without this tool, the other tools don't work. Namely, application. The verb form- 'apply', as stated in my trusty Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary is 'to bring into action.' I really like that. That definition is concise.
None of these tools are any good if we don't use them. And I'd have to be the first to raise my hand and say I'm guilty of that. One look at my bookshelves with all the various self-help and diet books and then a quick glance at my body will tell you that I'm reading alot but I'm not applying what I know. And that's the problem. I know too much and use too little.
Time to change all that.
It takes 21 days to develop a habit, good or bad. If you do something, every day for 21 days, voila! you've just gotten yourself a brand new habit. So when using a new tool- whether it's visualizing, being grateful or whatever you need at this moment in your life, try to do it for 21 days and see what happens. And before you know it, you're doing it on the 22nd day and the 23rd day, etc. Having said that, I think it's best to do one thing at a time. No sense in overloading the senses.
Right now, I'm working on breaking my very bad habit to eating chocolate everyday. I'm on day 5 with no chocolate. It hasn't been as bad as I thought but I know there will come a time when I'm going to crave it or just want it. And I better be prepared for when that happens. But that's what I'm working on right now.
It's time to put my money where my mouth is and make the effort.
On Thursday, I will go for my first weigh in at Unislim and those results will be the post on Friday.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Mea Culpa
I started this blog in an attempt to lose weight and gain control of my life. I thought if I made my struggle public, it would not only inspire me but shame me into taking drastic action. Apparently not.
So here I am, 5 months into my blog and not only haven't I lost any weight, but I've actually gained weight! I have no one to blame but myself: I'm not taking it seriously, I'm too lazy and I'm not disciplined enough.
As much as I want to be a 'free spirit' and do things my own way, I can't. I'm not strong enough and I need some help.
I feel like a fraud writing this blog when I'm failing so miserably.
Last night, I did something drastic and joined Unislim. I know, it goes against everything I've written about 'diets' but I'm desperate to change. Something. Anything. After the meeting, the Unislim leader, Bernie spent half an hour with me trying to figure out my eating habits. She said something very important to me, "You can't think of this as a 'diet,' you have to think of this as a permanent lifestyle change." Apparently, she hates the word, 'diet' as much as I do.
So onto the scale, I went.
23.4 stone.
I put on a pound since last month! I'm in freefall.
The meetings are every Thursday night and so every Friday I'll post my weight- losses hopefully. Weighing myself once a month is not working for me. There is way to much time to get into trouble. Then before I know it, not only has the 26th (weigh day) creeped up on me but more weight as well.
I've decided that if I fail at this, I will stop writing this blog. It's ridiculous for me to write about weight loss when all I'm doing is gaining.
But I have to make the effort.
For the next week, I'm going to think about how important this issue really is to me and how much am I willing to sacrifice of my level of comfort to make the changes necessary. And what kind of effort I'm going to put into it.
Do or die.
So here I am, 5 months into my blog and not only haven't I lost any weight, but I've actually gained weight! I have no one to blame but myself: I'm not taking it seriously, I'm too lazy and I'm not disciplined enough.
As much as I want to be a 'free spirit' and do things my own way, I can't. I'm not strong enough and I need some help.
I feel like a fraud writing this blog when I'm failing so miserably.
Last night, I did something drastic and joined Unislim. I know, it goes against everything I've written about 'diets' but I'm desperate to change. Something. Anything. After the meeting, the Unislim leader, Bernie spent half an hour with me trying to figure out my eating habits. She said something very important to me, "You can't think of this as a 'diet,' you have to think of this as a permanent lifestyle change." Apparently, she hates the word, 'diet' as much as I do.
So onto the scale, I went.
23.4 stone.
I put on a pound since last month! I'm in freefall.
The meetings are every Thursday night and so every Friday I'll post my weight- losses hopefully. Weighing myself once a month is not working for me. There is way to much time to get into trouble. Then before I know it, not only has the 26th (weigh day) creeped up on me but more weight as well.
I've decided that if I fail at this, I will stop writing this blog. It's ridiculous for me to write about weight loss when all I'm doing is gaining.
But I have to make the effort.
For the next week, I'm going to think about how important this issue really is to me and how much am I willing to sacrifice of my level of comfort to make the changes necessary. And what kind of effort I'm going to put into it.
Do or die.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Toolbox Tuesday
The purpose of Toolbox Tuesday is to give both you and me a new tool to use in our effort to reach and stay at our ideal weight. When I talk about tools, I'm looking for something other than the usual standard issue tools that we all have after many years of dieting. For instance, you won't see me pulling out any tools that tell you to start walking everyday or drink more water, because we already know all this. Although application of said basic tools could probably be its own post. I'm looking for different tools; tools that I might not have thought could help me with my quest or my body 'issues.'
Today's tool is gratitude. One could easily wonder how this could possibly aid and abet in weight loss. If you're like me, you're an emotional eater; a comfort eater. To comfort means to relieve of something, whether that something may be boredom, fear, grief, anger, reliving a past trauma or opening an old wound. These, along with others, are dangerous conspirators against us in our effort to maintain not only a healthy, ideal weight but to have some semblance of self esteem and self confidence.
The habit of gratitude will take some time to develop. You can start by being grateful for waking up in the morning. To jump start this, write down all the things you are currently grateful for, past and present. Begin a journal, writing down all the 'grateful' moments of your day, from sunshine to the person who let you ahead in line at the grocery store. Before long, you'll take pleasure in the simplest things and be grateful for them. Not only that, you'll begin to feel grateful about things you are doing right in regards to your own quest. Instead of beating yourself up for eating when you weren't hungry, you'll become grateful that you didn't cave in and that you waited until your body signalled that you were hungry again.
Gratitude is an attitude.
'For all that we have and all that we are about to receive, Lord, make us truly grateful.'
Today's tool is gratitude. One could easily wonder how this could possibly aid and abet in weight loss. If you're like me, you're an emotional eater; a comfort eater. To comfort means to relieve of something, whether that something may be boredom, fear, grief, anger, reliving a past trauma or opening an old wound. These, along with others, are dangerous conspirators against us in our effort to maintain not only a healthy, ideal weight but to have some semblance of self esteem and self confidence.
The habit of gratitude will take some time to develop. You can start by being grateful for waking up in the morning. To jump start this, write down all the things you are currently grateful for, past and present. Begin a journal, writing down all the 'grateful' moments of your day, from sunshine to the person who let you ahead in line at the grocery store. Before long, you'll take pleasure in the simplest things and be grateful for them. Not only that, you'll begin to feel grateful about things you are doing right in regards to your own quest. Instead of beating yourself up for eating when you weren't hungry, you'll become grateful that you didn't cave in and that you waited until your body signalled that you were hungry again.
Gratitude is an attitude.
'For all that we have and all that we are about to receive, Lord, make us truly grateful.'
Monday, April 19, 2010
A First Time for Everything
My mother always says that it's real easy to get into a rut but much harder to get out of it. I would add to that by saying you can be in a rut and not even know it.
This week, I realized not only that I'm in a severe rut but a pretty deep one as well. If it were any deeper, it'd be a grave.
Let me explain that this was a week of 'firsts' for me and it was only through these 'firsts' that I realized the extent of my rut.
On Thursday, I took the first train ride of my life. When I was told that I had to be in Dublin on Thursday, my immediate reaction was one of sheer terror. Dublin? OMG! How on earth would I ever get there? Even though it's only a 2 hour ride by train- it seemed like it was on the other side of the world to me. Once the terror subsided with a lot of help from my good friend, Chocolate, I must admit that my second feeling was one of foolishness. So, determined to get over myself, I booked my train ticket online and began to get used to the idea and then I was told I would have to get the Luas from the train to my destination. OMG! Luas? What on earth was that? I'd rather pay a gazillion dollars and take a cab. But no. It's only a tram. Once I realized that there was no way out of this trip to Dublin, I was determined not only to do it, but to not be afraid. Feel the fear and all that. I went online- how on earth did we survive before Google? and planned my route and where I had to be.
The train ride was uneventful and fun. The only embarrassing moment I had was when the man across from me got up and walked away and I stretched my legs out and promptly fell asleep. Sound asleep. It took 2 other passengers to wake me so the man could get back into his seat. Oops. I enjoyed it so much that I thought how I'd love to take the boys on the train to Dublin to the zoo maybe. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Then on Friday, 2 of my online writer friends, Clodagh Murphy and Trina Rea had decided to meet up with me in Limerick. No train this time, just a bus. Now the last time I was on a bus was around 1971 when my grandmother took me downtown to get new school clothes. Bus was fine- fell asleep on that too.
The only problem I had was getting from the bus depot to O'Connell St. With my sense of direction, I ended up taking the overland route and finally ended up at my destination much later than I planned. And I was breathless. And my hair was a mess.
Again when meeting up with these gals, whom I've known for 2 years through the online writer group that we all belong to, although I've never met them face to face. Another first. Despite the fact, that I really, really wanted to meet them, there was also an underlying sense of panic and terror. Again.
I've come to the conclusion that since moving to Ireland, I've slowly been cut off from civilization. Back in the US of A, I had a lot of family and friends that I saw on regular basis. But here it was a totally different story. I relied solely on my husband for conversation and companionship. Not his mistake, mine. And now, I don't even have that.
In my husband's house, I have managed to carve out a tiny bit of space for myself: the couch and my bedroom. My level of comfort is such that I am usually in my jammies by 6pm.
Not only have I fallen into obscurity, but I'm in danger of becoming a recluse as well. My grandmother had a sister who was a recluse for the last 5 years of her life. She wouldn't leave the house under any circumstance and had a taxi cab pick up and deliver her cases of Genessee beer each week. Sometimes, I wonder if that's what will happen to me. Except instead of delivering beer, they'd deliver family size bars of chocolate.
Ironically, I've flown about 30 times over the last 30+ years and aside from the length of the transatlantic flight, it doesn't bother me. And the one thing that I can't do on a plane is sleep. Go figure.
Needless to say, I came out at the end of the week all right. Well, more than all right. It was the little boost of confidence that I really needed. It's time to stop being afraid and start living again.
I'm eager for my boys to do things and not be afraid of life. It's important that they be exposed as much as possible to things so that they realizethat there is a much greater world outside of the four walls of a house.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Toolbox Tuesday
Out of today's toolbox, I've pulled a top ten list. The object is to make two separate lists, the first being the top ten reasons it is so painful to be overweight. The second list is the reasons it's so important to you personally to get to your ideal weight. Years ago, as an exercise, I listed all the reasons why I hated being fat and came up with a list of almost 150! I'll spare you that list and pare it down to 10.
10 Reasons Why it Is Painful for Me to Be Overweight:
1) Knees are shot. Unable to kneel or put any pressure on them whatsoever.
2) Chairs. Everywhere I go from the movies to a restaurant I have to be fully conscious of what type of chair I'm going to sit in. I'm vigilant about this all the time.
3)The Aquadome and any other water park. More than anything I would love to take the boys to a water park. But that would involve a bathing suit.
4)At first glance, everyone knows what your addiction is.
5)Clothes: nothing looks right and nothing fits right.
6) SOB. Shortness of breath with just about anything: climbing the stairs, trying to tie one's shoe or just rolling over in bed.
7) The inevitable comments that my boys will have to endure.
8) Always being the biggest person anywhere- so you always stand out.
9) The direct relationship between weight gain and letting yourself go.
10) How it affects every area of your life.
10 Personal Reasons for Getting to My Ideal Weight:
1) To gain self- confidence, self-esteem and self-respect.
2) Not only to be healthy but to feel healthy.
3) To wear a 4 inch pair of high heels without leaning over like the Tower of Pisa
4) To wear a pair of jeans.
5) To play tennis.
6) To be able to kneel or sit down on a floor and get up with no trouble.
7) To chase my boys around the yard, to take windsurfing lessons with them, to go tobogganing with them, etc.
8) To fit into any chair comfortably.
9) To put on a bathing suit and not be mortified.
10) To be able to look into a mirror and be proud of what I see.
I don't know about you, but I'm taping these lists to my refrigerator.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Food: The Universal Balm
No matter where you live or what culture you belong to, if you visit someone, what is the first thing they do after they offer you the most comfortable chair in the house? They feed you. Feeding someone is the surest way to signal to them that they are very welcome in your home. What happens when someone falls ill or dies? The pots and pans come flying out of the cupboards and a casserole marathon ensues. I wonder how many cups of tea were consumed in the course of history as tears were shed and problems discussed and solved. There seems to be nothing in life that a cup of tea cannot fix. Along with a piece of cake or pie. In times of trouble, it gives people- and probably more so with women- great satisfaction to feed other people as it is the most basic way to comfort others. If we are expecting company- what do we do? We run to the store to pick up a few things to feed them. A couple of years ago, my husband's brother stopped one night and I had nothing in the house to give him. And I mean nothing: no pie, no cake, not even a cookie to throw at him. I was mortified. But I'll be damned if I wasn't going to feed him something. I made him two pieces of toast with jam and served that with his tea. Offered my apologies and luckily, he had an excellent sense of humor.
Food also provides physical relief: ice cream in the summer, hot chocolate in the winter, chicken soup for a cold. It is a constant companion to just about all events in our lives. A cake to celebrate a birthday. Someone dies, we go to breakfast after the funeral. There's a luncheon at a christening and we get a dinner at a wedding. We can't watch TV without our favorite snack. Go to a national football, hockey, baseball (insert your sport of choice here) and get yourself a hot dog, a pretzel and some beer. After a night of drinking, we go out for breakfast (in the US) or to the local chipper for a takeaway (in Ireland). Movies are better with popcorn. A first date usually involves dinner and a movie.
Food also provides physical relief: ice cream in the summer, hot chocolate in the winter, chicken soup for a cold. It is a constant companion to just about all events in our lives. A cake to celebrate a birthday. Someone dies, we go to breakfast after the funeral. There's a luncheon at a christening and we get a dinner at a wedding. We can't watch TV without our favorite snack. Go to a national football, hockey, baseball (insert your sport of choice here) and get yourself a hot dog, a pretzel and some beer. After a night of drinking, we go out for breakfast (in the US) or to the local chipper for a takeaway (in Ireland). Movies are better with popcorn. A first date usually involves dinner and a movie.
Food is also season oriented. In the winter months, there's a lot of soups, stews and chili, in the summer it's easy: outdoor paper plate food. We get chocolate for Valentine's day. There's corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day and then more chocolate for Easter- and a ham too. From Memorial Day to Labor Day, we drag out our grills and it's hot dogs and hamburgers and corn on the cob. October is apples and cider. November is Thanksgiving(we won't even go there- that national holiday deserves it's own 'food' post). December rolls around and what do we do? In preparation for Christmas, we bake- cookies (in the US) and cakes (in Ireland).
We go out for dinner, we get invited over for dinner or we have family and friends over. The universal question that ricochets around the world everyday is 'What's for dinner?'
Life revolves around food. There's no way around it.
Life revolves around food. There's no way around it.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Toolbox Tuesday
Starting today, every Tuesday will be known here as 'Toolbox Tuesday.' Basically, I'll pick something out of a 'toolbox' so to speak that will help me and anyone else who needs it in their quest to get to their ideal weight.For this first post, I'd like to talk about visualization as a means to achieve this goal or any goal for that matter. Anyone can visualize and we all have an imagination- even though we may not use it as productively as we should.
I have a tool box full of 'tools' that I picked up over the years, but as in anything, you need the right tool for the job. I picked this tool first because I think it's important for me to go back to the beginning and start with the basics. In the same way that I'm listening to my body's signals for hunger, I have to go back and reprogram not only my thinking and my self-talk but my 'vision' of myself as well.
I wish what I know now I knew then. In other words, I wish that when I was a teenager I didn't let all those negative comments about my weight take hold to the point that it became second nature to me to see myself as 'fat' even though I wasn't. I focused so much on worrying about getting fatter and thinking I was fat, that my mind and body together collaborated and delivered it to me on a platter- right next to the roast beef and mashed potatoes.
Thoughts become things. Everything, material and immaterial, had its beginning as a thought. Your subconscious and brain can only deliver what you tell it or 'see.' Think of visualization as focused daydreaming.
This only takes about five minutes a day and is easy and fun to do.
All you need to do is imagine yourself in your mind's eye as the person you want to be at your ideal weight. I hesitate to say 'thin' as some of us just weren't born to be skinny and our ideal weight may not be according to the Metropolitan Life Insurance charts. Try to picture yourself as comfortable with your body and at your ideal weight. Enjoy the daydream with all your five senses. How does it make you feel to look in the mirror and see you at your physical ideal? How does it sound to your ears when someone tells you how great you look? How does it feel to pull on pair of jeans? The more detailed you can make it, the better it will be. To super charge it, pretend it is reality and really 'feel' the feelings associated with it. Your brain must deliver what you focus on. Try doing this every morning when you get up.
Books that I would recommend to read for more information along these lines would be The Secret (Rhonda Byrne), Write it Down Make it Happen( Henriette Klauser), and Creative Visualization( Shakti Gawain).
It's time that I 'see' the picture.
Friday, April 2, 2010
So Far So Good
Week one is done and dusted as they say and it's been pretty good so far. I'm following the rules set forth by Paul McKenna's book and it hasn't been too bad. I'm solely concentrating on listening for signs from my body for physical hunger and that has been eye opening to say the least. Still, I do feel guilty for eating what I want, but since I've been off the chocolate for a week I find I crave other things like salads and sandwiches and of course, my juice. Dieting or not, I always juice, I love it too much not to. Only once did I eat when I wasn't hungry- I had a yummy cucumber, red pepper and cream cheese sandwich- but I didn't beat myself up over it. After that, I didn't eat again until my stomach growled.
I should point out that I don't wait until I'm ravenous-weak with the hunger-on the verge of passing out hungry as that would do more harm than good. No, I wait until I feel the hunger in my stomach and once I hear two growls, I'm off to the kitchen.
I should point out that I don't wait until I'm ravenous-weak with the hunger-on the verge of passing out hungry as that would do more harm than good. No, I wait until I feel the hunger in my stomach and once I hear two growls, I'm off to the kitchen.
The next thing I want to concentrate on is stopping when I'm full. This is very difficult for me for two reasons. One, I really enjoy food and two, I'm a life time member of the Clean Your Plate club. I can agonize over food left behind on a plate when my stomach is rumbling much later in the middle of the night. To prevent this angst, I eat everything on the plate. But I have a plan for that. To tackle my leftover-food-on-a-plate phobia, I'm going to wrap it up and save the remainder for later when my stomach growls again. The bigger problem will be putting the fork down and pushing myself away from the table.
But slowing down and enjoying my food will be my biggest problem of all. If speed eating were an Olympic sport, I could medal in it. I serve dinner in our house at 5:30 prompt. Kids first and then husband. Before I sit down, I wash all the pots. Then I sit down and shovel it all into my mouth in a matter of minutes. I'm finished before everyone else, even though I started last. I then finish the dishes and still, my oldest son is still eating. He laments that he's sooooo slow at eating (he is- it takes him an hour) but I tell him he's fine and he'll never have digestive problems. I come from a family of speedy eaters and we managed to talk as we were piling it in like we hadn't had a meal in a weeks. The 7 of us sat down for dinner at 5pm and we were all finished by 5:10. My mother was the only one who left anything on her plate. Now wonder we all have varying degree of stomach problems.
But as Jen says, progress not perfection.
But as Jen says, progress not perfection.
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